It is a weight watcher trick, to lift something that weighs the same number of pounds as you lost. 50 lbs is like a ten-year old kid, right? 50 pounds is the maximum my luggage can weigh when I fly. That’s a lot of pounds!
Let me start by saying my goal isn’t to get thin and weight is only one of the many markers I’m using for success. Still, I can’t help feeling good about the loss of over 50 pounds.
For one thing, I’m stronger now. I can run farther and faster, and my tragically weak ankles can hold me up better with less weight to drag around. For another thing, the pounds I lost were fat, but I’m building up muscles. I can feel them, especially in my legs, which are stronger every week. I’m not as strong as I’d like to be, but I’m getting there.
Another thing is that I don’t feel like I’m fighting every minute about food. Talk about feeling stronger!! For most of my life I have fought with food. Most of the time food wins, or eventually wins. When I have dieted (what a nasty word) I would fight with myself about food cravings and eating foods I don’t like. I could hold out sometimes for days, or weeks, or even months, but it would get harder and harder and eventually I would cave.
This time is different. I have cleansed my body of the foods that hurt me, and nourish myself with enough foods to run and work and play and live. It is a whole new experience.
I have always thought that my natural state of being was fat, which is why whenever I stopped dieting I quickly returned to the weight I was before. That I had to struggle for anything less than obesity. I’m starting to rethink this now. I now think the foods I ate were making me sick and obesity might be the symptom of the disease. I’m slowly figuring out which foods are the culprits, through trial and error.
I don’t know what my natural weight will be. I’m not going to starve myself or do anything rash to get thin. I’m committed to eating the foods that nourish me and forsake any foods that damage me as long as I feel healthy and strong and not hungry and weak. If I lose weight in the process, that can only be a positive. If at some point my weight levels out, I’m still going to keep to this program because for the first time in my life I feel that I am in control of what I’m eating, rather than the food controlling me.
Let’s just see how it goes, okay?