I said I wouldn’t do it. I promised myself. I meant it. But I admit it. I caved.
I’m not talking about my food addiction. No, I’m talking about my scale addiction. I have promised myself that this time it isn’t about the weight. I’m focusing on being healthier at any size. I accept myself as fat. I love myself. Blah, blah, blah. I can’t help it. I just needed to know.
I’ve adopted this food addiction diet to help me get under control, but I’m also hoping that it will have some positive effect on my overall weight. Because I run better when I’m not carrying so much weight. And my joints are stronger. And my heart. And my mood.
I don’t need to be thin. I don’t think I’ll ever be thin and I’m okay with that. I really really REALLY want to focus on the health and not the size.
But I also wanted to see how much damage I did over Christmas. I started my new food plan right before Thanksgiving. I lost about 16 pounds in that time frame. I kept myself to only one weigh in per week (a real challenge) just to see how things were going.
I was also really amazing in staying on program. Up until Christmas, which had it’s own issues. And then after Christmas was a vacation which included two 13-hour road trips (there and back) and 4 days with my dad and his wife (southern cooking and stress), a New Year’s Eve party, and my Mom’s traditional New Year’s Day dinner.
Overall I rate myself good. Some days were better than others. I really impressed myself with how well I did on vacation, especially the road trips which can be really problematic. I told myself it didn’t matter if I gained or lost or stayed the same, because it only mattered that I kept working on my goals.
Yeah, I caved. I needed to know. I have this thing about numbers. I like tracking data. I needed to see the data. So I weighed myself. If you need to know, you can highlight this next sentence to see the results:
I weigh exactly the same as I did the Saturday before Christmas. Exactly. No difference.
So there it is. Now I’m going to get back to my routine. Eat my rice and beans. Eat my almonds. Run my miles. And try not to weigh in more than once a week. Probably.