I haven’t posted to my blog for a while, but not for the usual reasons. Historically neglecting my blog usually means I’m off track and don’t want to face it, but this time that is not the case. If you’ve been following my twitter account (@fatnforty) you will see two types of posts regularly updated: weight loss (consistently since October) and exercise (less consistently but definitely there). So what gives? Why no posts?
Actually I don’t really have much to say. I still feel like I’m at the very begining of a long journey and this part of the trip is like driving through Oklahoma. (Once upon a time I drove cross country. The trip starts off interesting, and it gets interesting in places but driving through some of the middle states it gets boring… Miles and miles of cornfields, flat straight roads, and nothing to look at.)
I haven’t even gotten to the good part of the trip: when people start coming up to you and noticing how much you lost. I’ve lost 46 lbs (nothing to sneeze at) but so far no one who didn’t already know I was dieting has said anything about how I look. I’m not feeling sorry for myself; just statig a fact. I have sooooo much to lose yet, and it just hasn’t become apparant yet. I’m thinking when I get closer to the 200 lb mark people might notice.
What I am getting is lots of compliments on my hair. It is weird. I don’t do anything special to my hair. I haven’t had a special cut or color. But lately I’ve gotten lots of people telling me how good my hair looks and did I change it. This is my theory: people are noticing something different. They think I look better but can’t quite put their finger on it. No one ever want s to comment on a fat woman’s weight unless they are sure it is that. (Imagine if I were to say,
“No, I actually gained a ton!” Too embarrassing.
So the compliment my hair I do have nice hair. You can’t go wrong telling someone they are having a good hair day. So my hair is getting all the attention my hard working body deserves.
We who struggle with our weight need validation. It isn’t just me. I see it at my weight watchers meetings all the time. People can’t wait to share their weight loss. It is a problem for the members who make goal because they don’t have fabulous losses week after week. I’m trying to give myself internal validation. Hopefully if I can appreciate myself, I won’t need the external support to keep me going.
No answers today. Just lots of hmmmms.