I’m back to the same place I always get with whatever diet I happen to be on. How to deal with the food you shouldn’t have eaten. Here’s the thing:
I don’t really feel bad about the “good cheats.” You know, the 1/2 piece of homemade birthday cake at a party, or the filet mignon in a top-class steak house. I can plan for them, eat and enjoy, and not feel bad the next day. Likewise, I’m pretty cool with my occasional alcohol consumption. I can eat, drink, and be merry and as long as I don’t incur a hangover, I move on. But what about eating something I shouldn’t have, that I don’t really enjoy.
Last night it was seconds on turkey breast and broiled potatoes and ok, they were fairly low-calorie cheats, but I sure as heck didn’t need seconds and it wasn’t like it was the best food on earth. For the past few weeks I’ve had some pretty good success with moving on after a “glitch.” But I don’t know how long this feeling is going to last and I happened to know my temptation quotient is rising as my resistence level is falling. I want to
nip this in the bud before I get myself off track again.
Here’s the history. I eat foods I don’t like. I overeat foods I only marginally like. I eat foods when I’m not hungry. I eat more food than I need to be satisfied. I eat foods when I know I shouldn’t. I have no idea why I do these things. *sigh*
The above paragraph pretty much sums up my whole weight issue. When I’m not dieting this can be an all the time thing. When I am dieting, this can be an occasional thing that totally derails me until I’m effectively not dieting again. OK. That’s the problem, but what is the solution?
I have been trying to make these lapses ok. I tell myself that I’m not shooting for perfection (despite being a card-carrying perfectionista) and that working these bumps into my life is the whole point of it. And today, I feel like it is okay. But I’m also afraid. I’m afraid that I’m fooling myself. I’m afraid that I’ll fail. I’m afraid that I’ll never be satisfied with what I see in the mirror. I’m afraid that I’m old, and ugly, and fat and who the hell would ever want me again… [[Never mind, I’m closing that closet door before the fear takes over this blog.]]
So my resolution for today is “Never Give Up, Never Say Die.” No matter what you do, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and put down that cookie because every day is filled with 1,000,001 decisions that effect your health and your weight so you can’t be expected to make the right decision every single time. Just do your best. And don’t quit.
—–Gee, I almost believe myself. 🙂